Musings

 I find myself joggling down words on a page, only to forget what I write minutes later. I can think insofar as I'm still writing, insofar as the page is still open in front of my eyes. As soon as I close the page, as soon as the words leave my sight, my thinking stops.  Well, fine, I'm exaggerating a bit. My mind isn't always like this. With some amount of effort I can remember things. But most of time remembering takes so much mental effort that I cannot afford it. A writing medium is then so important for my mind to operate that I feel my existence depends on it. I identify my existence largely with my thoughts, and I can't think well without writing. When my mind is like that, it is "stateless", in the terminologies of computers. It doesn't store a state, that retains some information for later use. It merely processes. It receives some inputs, and produces some outputs, like thoughts and feelings. These outputs then in turn get fed back as input. Some...